Shoot me where the sun don't shine
Lock me up, it's not a crime
Break the lock, don't set me free
Cause you ate the god damn key

Stab me so I can't see straight
Crack the door, and close the gate
Cut the knife, stay close to me
Tie me up and let me be

Stitch me up and break my bones
Give me some gallblatter stones
Rip out my heart, it's not the end
Cause my soul is your best friend

With a spear, my heart's impaled
I'm packed up, soon after mailed
My luck is great, I'm really glad
The postal service sucks so bad

In this box, my flesh shall mend
And you thought this was the end
Chain the locks then I'll break out
What's this friendship all about

At last revenge shall be mine
Your thoughts of me are quite benign
I'll mail myself right back at thee
We'll have a talk with knives and tea

Hug you tight and slit your throat
I'll steal your cat, cash, car, and coat
Now at last you're in the ground
We are having fun all around

I'll cry while I spit on your grave
Blow it up, just to end the crave
You and I weren't quite the same
Dispite what you will always claim

With great ease, I stomped your flame
Piss off, friend. I always win the game
Don't try again, Don't try your luck
Cause you know you really suck