Aeris...
(What did she do with those flowers in the beginning)
... Aeris was still alive when Cloud gave the water burial?
... Aeris's materia wasn't holy, just a pretty rock?
... Aeris's materia was really Evil in stead of Holy?
... Aeris didn't sell flowers, but poisonous daggers?
... Aeris had to live with the nickname 'flowergirl' through the whole game?
... Humans were really all ancients and Aeris was the only human?
... Aeris undid her hair, Holy fell down, and she never saw it again?

Barret...
(It must hurt to wear a caste gun on your arm)
... Barret was combing his hair and accidentally shot himself?
... Barret's gun rusted?
... Barret and Cid had a swearing contest (it fell under Barret first)?
... Barret picked up Marlene and accidentally shot her?
... Barret wasn't black?
... Barret wasn't buff?

Cait Sith...
(Face it...  It's hard trying to find WF's for a stuffed cat on a Moogle)
... CaitSith wasn't stuffed?
... CaitSith had to use a plug for his megaphone?
... CaitSith looked more like a dog?
... CaitSith had no spare for the party?
... CaitSith had a plaide megaphone?
... CaitSith rode on Nanaki for a living instead of Moogle?
... Caitsith rode a chocobo instead of a Moogle
... The moogle wasn't stuffed?
... The moogle fell forward and Caitsith had no way to get back up?

Cid...
(Most of Cid's WF's ran along with Barret in swearing...  So we shared between the 2)
... Cid gave up smoking?
... Cid gave up flying?
... The Tiny Bronco didn't break?
... The rocket took off anyway?
... Cid impaled himself with his own harpoon stick?
... Cid lost his voice?
... Cid was married?
... Cid had a small little dagger instead of the harpoon?
... Cid rode boats for a living instead of flying planes?
... Cid made it into outerspace, found out he couldn't breath, and died of asphyxiation?
... Cid spent all the gangs money for smoking?

Cloud...
(There were more for Cloud... But they fit under 'WF Cloud was a pimp?')
... Cloud's sword was too heavy?
... Cloud actually died in his flash back?
... Cloud's Motorcycle had training wheels?
... Cloud messed up on driving the motorcycle and crashed while going down the stairs?
... Cloud's show of the first flash back was true?
... Cloud fell in love with Yuffie at the end?
... We get to see Cloud go to the bathroom at least once during the game?
... Cloud brushed his hair back?
... Cloud never gave Sephiroth the black materia?
... Cloud was a pimp (It could happen)?
... Cloud fell in love with Percilla at the end?
... Cloud's hair wasn't spiked?
... Cloud looked alot more like Sephiroth than we thought?
... Cloud took that armor from his shoulder?
... Cloud used guns instead of really big swords?
... Cloud finally faced reality and stopped beating women?

Nanaki (Red XIII)...
(His first name before the characters meet him is Nanaki)
... Nanaki's fur caught on fire by his tail?
... The Gi tribe were really the ancients and Nanaki's family killed them all?
... Seto was never really turned to stone?
... Nanaki's other name was really OrangeXIII?
... Nanaki liked 2 legged people (The message is in the game)?
... Nanaki could see through that other eye?
... Nanaki wasn't part cat or part dog... but was really part bird (He has those feather clips)?
... Nanaki was toothless (Dental care anyone)?
... We found out how Nanaki got the hair clips in his fur?
... We could see the other Nanakis (the I through XII)?
... Bugahaden had legs (It had to go under Nanaki)?
... Nanaki ate Aeris when you first meet him?
... Nanaki never found out about his father?
... Nanaki's paws had blood loss after the cuffs on his wrists were too tight?
... Nanaki took over PrideRock? (no, wait, that's simba)
... Nanaki was a human?
... All the women fell in love with Nanaki?  (Poor, poor Cloud!)

Tifa...
(I'm sure you'll find a run-on in here)
... Tifa froze to death in the North cave or any other polar place?
... Tifa had frost bite from falling while snow boarding?
... Tifa's 5th limit break was called 'Flashing/ Strip Tease'?
... Tifa worked at a topless bar?
... Tifa tripped on her shoe laces and fell (flash..)?
... Tifa broke her knuckles in a fight?
... There was a protester complaining 'There need to be longer shorts'?
... Tifa cut her hair?
... Tifa put up her hair like Aeris'?
... Tifa wore baggy clothes?
... Tifa married Seph at the end? (o.o)
... Tifa elopes with Cloud?

Vincent...
(We were going to make this Spanish and call him Vincente... But changed our minds)
... Vincent wore black?
... Vincent ran out of bullets in a fight?
... Vincent took off the glove?
... Vincent wasn't so depressing?
... Vincent became stuck in one of his monster forms?
... We get find out what's under Vincent's headband?
... Vincent accidentally killed Cloud when he beat him over the head (while Cloud was beating up Aeris)?
... Vincent was still a turk?

Yuffie...
(Her weapons were too big for her)
... Yuffie gave up stealing?
... Yuffie cut herself on her shirikan?
... Yuffie ran out of Materia to steal?
... Yuffie grew up?
... Yuffie was really age 27 and just didn't look it?
... Yuffie's weapon got stuck in the ground during a battle?
... Yuffie tripped over her weapon?
... Yuffie missed the catch?
... Yuffie made metal for a living (Oh, I got it!)?
 

Extra GoodGuys

Avalanche
(Jessie, Biggs, and Wedge lived!!!)
... The Avalanche gang was not so melodramatic about saving the world?
... Jessie was terribly in love with Cloud?
... Wedge was thin?
... Wedge fanned his butt while is was on fire, and asked Barret to kiss it an make it better?
... Biggs took place of Cloud?
... There were action figures of Jessie, Biggs, and Wedge in real life?
... Biggs fell in love with Tifa?
... Wedge fell in love with Marlene?

Lucretsia
(The only woman that Vincent loves)
... Lucretsia was actually Jenova?
... Lucretsia miscarried?
... Lucretsia was always in love with Hojo and just played with Vince for the money?
... Lucretsia was really an ancient?

Priscillia
(Big friend of Mr Dolphin)
... Priscillia was awake while Cloud gave CPR?
... Priscillia was awake while Cloud gave CPR and Cloud knew it?
... Mr. Dolphin hit the electrical wires and became fried fish (we have no heart in words)?

Chocobos!!!
(The only rideable birds in the game!)
... Chocobos were really chickens (imagine.. riding a chicken...)?
... Chocobos could fly?
... There was an easy way to get a gold chocobo?
... We just called regular chocobos yellow chocobos?
... There was a story of a Trojan Chocobo?

Zach
(He had his uses)
... Zach came back (gasp!)?
... Zach came back and Aeris and Tifa gave up Cloud for him?
... Someone came to the mako reactor and founds Zach's nude body (Cloud took his cloths in real flash back)?
... Zach was really Sephiroth the whole time?
... Zach eloped with all the women in the world, before dieing?
... Zach was really a turk?
 

Bad Guys

Hojo
(My favorite mad scientist...  The only Mad Scientist)
... The mako monsters were really made by accident and Hojo never knew?
... Hojo became stuck in his walking position (Hunched over, hand on chin)?
... Hojo was Professor Gaste?
... Hojo wore all black (The scientific madman of darkness, buahahaha!)?

Jenova
(She was big...  And she had no legs...)
... Jenova was really Sephiroth's mother?
... Jenova had legs?
... Jenova was human?
... Jenova was an accident?
... Jenova recieved therapy?
... Jenova was just a big deformation of a jellyfish and spam?

Mako Monsters
(They have their fame)
... Mako Monsters went on strike?
... The Mako Monsters went on a beer break?
... Mako Monsters went on a killing spree in the cities (they only stay in non populated spots)?
... Mako Monsters forgot FF7 and went to HollyWood?
... Mako Monsters weren't made of mako, just a bunch of pollution (let's keep our streets clean)?

Turks
(They are fun to talk with when drunk)
... Rude used Rogain and regrew hair?
... Reno lost his hair and looked like Rude?
... The Turks all shaved their heads (except Rude) and became Monks?
... The male Turks ran into a battle scene and stole Tifa and Aeris?
... Elena Kidnapped Cloud and proposed marriage?
... Elena Kidnapped Cloud and proposed marriage and Cloud accepted?
... The Turks followed the Mako Monsters to HollyWood?
... Reno spoke with a lisp and really sounded like a girl?

Weapons
(Were they really all that bad?)
... Weapons were actually good guys?
... There was a little baby weapon?
... Ruby weapon was called RedSaphire Weapon?
... The Weapons turned on themselves?
... The Weapons turned on Sephiroth?
 

Sephiroth
(Notice how we only use his nickname in this part of WF's)
Meteor
(Seph made it, it goes on his list)
... Meteor crashed into the moon?
... Meteor was really a big ball of cheese?
... Meteor missed the planet?
... Meteor hit water?
... Meteor wasn't seen until it hit the planet?
... Meteor was just a stunt to get people to watch the movie 'Astroid'?

Sephiroth
(in short, he needed to be in his own list of WF's)
... Sephiroth messed up on his final pose and stabbed someone behind him?
... Sephiroth messed up on his final pose and stabbed himself?
... Seph learned gravity while flying around and fell on his head?
... Seph was crushed to the size of a prune while in the middle of the planet?
... Seph missed Aeris in the kill?
... Seph missed Aeris and really impaled Cloud?
... Seph missed Aeris and fell into the mako pool/lake?
... The belt around Seph's waist broke?
... Seph cut his hair?
... Seph dyed his hair?
... Seph finally found out and accepted the truth of his life?
... Seph's outfit was pink?
... Seph was driven crazy from being called 'Mr. Longsword' as a nickname?
... Seph's sword was just plastic?
 

Mako
(Yes, I do know this isn't in spelling order)
Materia
(The hardened Mako)
... Materia was really just coal?
... Materia lost its' glow?
... Someone ate Materia and started to glow its' color?
... Someone ate Materia and grew an extra arm?
... Materia was J-e-l-l-o!?
... Materia was spam (AHHH!!!)?

Mako
(The liquid Mako... or... uhhh...)
... There was no mako, just polluted water?
... Someone drank some Mako and had bug like eyes?
... Someone drank Mako and lost their hair (So that's what happened to Rude)?
 

Other

People
(Those annoying people that get in the way)
... The 'pizza' on Midgar broke and killed all the people in the slums?
... The people in Midgar died from low oxigen (only church and Aeris's house in Midgar has plant life)?
... The people were muted and the game became easier?
... The people would just shut up and get eaten by the Mako Monsters?
... Someone died happy?
... The show wasn't over after the characters died?
... All of the guys were girls and all the girls guys?
... The people were just all taking part in a big act for you (ain't that life?)?

Places
(Tourist maps for all!)
... The Midgar train collapsed on itself?
... The Midgar train went off the rails during a run?
... The Golden Saucer collapsed on itself and killed all the people in the wastelands down below?
... A large buger could be seen out of one of the noses from the mountain faces in Watei?
... The Zolom snake was really just made of plastic for show?

Extra Other
(What was left behind)
... We get to find out how the FF7 planet had all our planets around it?
... The globe of FF7 was just like Earth?
 

TheStreet

Extra!